So you're having a baby...

It's one of those surreal moments that make you feel as if you are walking through someone else's life. I'm sure most people imagine the day they become pregnant, all the way up until the time they get handed a little red, wrinkly bundle of joy in the delivery room. But no matter how much you think your imagination can prepare you, there is nothing like the truth of it hitting you full force.

I've never been one of those people that was absolutely sure I wanted to have children. I'd go back and forth, and to me, my fickleness proved that I wasn't ready. I'm 26, and the older I get, the more I revel in having the freedom to do my thing. I didn't even know if it was physically possible for me to have kids for several reasons, and while that idea was saddening, I wasn't devastated.

But you know, that day absolutely came, and it was kind of a surprise. I guess I honestly didn't think it would ever happen. I paced around the house for hours after seeing that little plus sign, a mix of laughter and tears and pure terror. Is this real? What the heck is happening?

After you find out you're pregnant, time moves fast and slow simultaneously. When you think pregnant, all you see is a huge belly and a waddle, but of course, that doesn't happen right away, making the idea even more strange. You still look the same, still feel the same, but nothing is the same. This lack of a sudden, huge baby belly makes the idea that there is life inside you even harder to believe.

Then BAM! You're poor husband spends his evenings alone because you can't keep your eyes open past 6:30. You're eating every couple of hours, and just the mere though of cooked meat makes you want puke your guts out, forcing you into semi-vegetarianism. Your bras get snugger, and much to your dismay, so do your cute skinny pants. Basically, you're exhausted and you feel fat and like your body has completely lost its friggin' mind.

Now here's where the "time-goes-by-fast" part comes in. Ticking off the weeks, and I'm amazed that I've made it through the first trimester. 14 weeks this Sunday, and, even though a little bump is becoming more prominent, I'm beginning to feel more like myself. It's starting to feel real after seeing the baby move in the ultrasound and setting a date to find out the gender. Heck-yes we are finding out! My grandmother sounded appalled when I told her, but in this day and age, why not? Besides, patience is not much of virtue for either me or my husband when it comes to something so exciting.

So yeah, I went from "Holy crap, what did we get ourselves into?" to being stoked. Once you see that little bugga on the black-and-white screen and you have a picture of him/her hanging on your fridge, the reality doesn't feel so weird anymore and every day is something to look forward to.

Backaches, headaches, ravenous appetite and all.

Now, I'm off for my two mile walk, because I will never take my precious energy for granted ever again.


Cheers!