Getting there!!

24 weeks. Holy moly. My third trimester is looming on the horizon, and I can definitely feel the weight of it bearing down on me. So much to dooooo! And it feels like... or actually we are... running out of time!

Little Sully has a huge container of stuff and his own corner in my living room. (I'm sure this won't change.) We are still working on getting his room cleaned out, so I haven't had a chance to organize everything yet. Baby clothes, toys, books, and a car seat. You shoulda seen me trying to figure out that last one. There are so many buttons and safety precautions, I actually did what you're supposed to do in these situations: I read the guidebook. Go figure. Reading the directions actually does make things easier.

Accumulating all the necessary essentials that are required to keep your baby safe and happy is really... crazy. If feeling Sully kicking didn't make it real enough, seeing all this baby stuff in my house is really taking the whole "reality is slapping you in the face" to the next level. Sully will be here in less than four months, and while that can sound like a long time, remember that we found out about him almost six months ago... YEAH. Really. Having those months go by as fast as they did makes me feel like four will be the blink of an eye.

So how am I feeling? That's a question I get a lot. For the most part, I'm feeling really tired. I've been having more off days than days when I feel like a normal human being, and I think that has a lot to do with my second trimester coming to an end and the fact that Sully is getting huge. Yesterday I spent a couple of hours cleaning the house and doing laundry, and by 11 AM, I was spent. I have a really bad habit of not listening to my body when it tells me to lay the frig down, but this time I had to. Laid down to do a bit of reading and ended up falling asleep for an hour.

Needless to say, this being tired all the time (again) is really putting me in a predicament. I feel like I can't do anything without paying for it somehow. Last weekend was pretty full. A friend's baby shower. Canoeing on the lake. 2 mile walk. More canoeing on the lake. Dinner with friends. Then work on Monday. By Tuesday and Wednesday, I felt like I was going to keel over and die while having a major hormone-induced bitch-fit. Turns out, I was just exhausted and needed to go home and get some R&R. Literally just sit on my ever-growing ass and do nothing.

It's frustrating, because I want to go walking every day. I want to go out and do things with friends. But at the same time, I need to relax as much as possible or else I'll end up sick and miserable. Seems like it's hard for others to understand, but it is what it is right now, and I don't like it anymore than they do.

What makes it all worth it is feeling Sully get stronger every day. He's begun to wake me up at night, and I find it really difficult to get frustrated with his insomniatic antics. It's something I better get used to, and I'm pleasantly surprised to find that it doesn't bother me being woken up by a squirmy little munchkin. We'll see if that changes when the kicking turns into screaming... ;)

Speaking of kicking, Taylor finally saw Sully move. He had his hand on my belly while Sully was uber active, but for some reason, he can't feel it to save his life. Over-think much? I actually saw the man's hand move when Sully kicked him, but nope, he didn't feel a thing. *Sigh* Good thing the kicks have gotten to the point where I can see them pushing on my belly. (There's that "alien" thought again....) So I had Taylor watch the belly instead. And BAM, the moment finally happened. There was no way Taylor could mistake those huge jumps in my belly for hunger pangs.

I have my next appointment on August 1st, and I'm excited to see how much Sully has grown in the last month. He's definitely strong, healthy, and growing fast. My belly feels enormous, so much so that I had to roll off the couch the other day to get up to pee (again), much to the amusement of my husband.

Do you see how walking two miles could be difficult with this added weight constantly throwing me off balance? I see all these "fit and pregnant" women on Pinterest or other blogs, and I have to fight the urge to say screw. you. I've always been one to workout and jog as part of my lifestyle, but my knees, ankles, and energy levels are finding it hard to keep up. It's gotten to the point where going up and down my stairs half a dozen times while cleaning is calling my exercise routine for the day good. Now if only I could turn my craving for chocolate ice cream into a craving for something like... Oh, who am I kidding?

There are a lot of things you have to just let go when you're pregnant. The house isn't going to be as clean as you like. You're not going to be as active as you want to be. The scale is inevitably going to go up. And you're clothes aren't going to fit anymore. It is what it is, and it's really taught me a lesson in just letting things be and not focusing on the things I can't do. I've been trying to put the energy I do have into things I can do. Or stepping back and remembering the things I am doing... Like creating a whole other life.

I think Taylor was worried about having to live with a pregnant wife due to the horror stories that every man seems to like to tell (as if they are victims and have the most difficult job in the whole deal), but I think I've handled it pretty well, and it helps to have such an understanding guy on my side. When I'm feeling extra irritable, I just tell him, "hey, I'm feeling really *itchy tonight," and instead of thinking it's something he's done or that I need to get over it, he always asks, "what can we do to make you feel better?" Or if I'm in one of those moods where I just want to cry, he gives me a hug and tells me to just let it out because I'll feel better for it. I don't make him a target of my hormones. I just give him a heads up that they are getting out of control and it's something he just seems to know how to help me with. We work together.

So instead of him thinking I've become possessed or me thinking he's an insensitive jerk (stereotypes, I know), we can focus on the fun stuff. Like belly kicks and car seat fiascos and putting the crib together.

Hopefully, soon I'll have some photos of the nursery!


Cheers!

The Rollercoaster

I don't have to tell you that being pregnant is a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Everyone knows it and it's always the joke that a pregnant woman will usually break down and cry doing something as simple as watching a freaking toilet paper commercial. I wouldn't say it's been that extreme for me, but I've definitely experienced a lot of ups, downs, backs, forths, and in betweens.

What I find most surprising, though, is how I feel now compared to how I felt barely a couple of months ago. I was asked very recently by a young girl if I liked being pregnant. Now, I'd definitely say yes. Before, all I wanted was for someone to knock me out and wake me when it was over. Pregnancy is a very sudden, absolutely drastic change, and it can be tough to deal not only with that, but with the prospect that this isn't even the scariest part.

However, now I'm feeling different. I got over the initial shock and frustration that my body is no longer my own. I've not only accepted the fear of what I don't know, but I've shifted my focus from my anxiety to looking forward to learning. I think the transition started when I started to feel Sully doing Kung Fu moves in my belly. 

I've got one active kid on my hands here, and if he's this crazy now, I'm definitely in trouble. It's gotten to the point that not only can I feel him move, I can see it. Yup. I'm not the only one who's seen it, and I think it freaked the guy out a bit if the look on his face was any indication. Sully's getting stronger everyday, and I'm glad for it. 

I've discovered that he loves chocolate chip cookies. I swear, he does! He usually gets kicking after I eat, but with chocolate chip cookies, he goes berserk. I can only imagine him in there going...

You might be thinking that it's the sugar, which would make sense, but I've eaten other sweets (what? don't judge...) without such a significant reaction out of him. The only conclusion I can come to is that it's his favorite thing I've ever eaten. So when I reach for another and Taylor gives me a funny look, all I have to say is, "What? Sully likes them!"

So between feeling that movement and the fact that I can call him by his name, everything has moved from that surreal dream world to something more solid, which has got me realllllly excited!! There's always that little voice of worry in the back of my mind, but for the most part I give it dirty looks and ignore it. 

I get the question "How are you feeling?" quite often, and my honest answer would be: great. I do have those days when my hormones amplify everything I'm feeling, and that can be tough (not to mention annoying), but I've got a great guy supporting me who never fails to pull me out of that hole. I get tired pretty quickly and have to take it easy more often than I would like, but I'm trying to just take advantage of my free pass and put my feet up. 

I think that's been the hardest part. Not being able to do the things I used to. Stay up late with friends. Go for a run. Load up the canoe for a day on the lake. Go all day working around the house. But I know it's not about me anymore. It's what's best for Sully, and my body is much more in tune with his needs than my own right now, so I really try to listen. Seeing it that way, I'm finding that it's getting pretty difficult to be frustrated.

The tables are turning and rather than cursing the fact that men can't carry babies, I'm feeling blessed that this is my job. That's not to say Taylor isn't doing anything: he's been taking care of everything before the baby comes to the point where all I have to do is... well, practically nothing besides show up for my doc appointments, take care of myself, and have fun with it. It's his way. He expresses his excitement by doing. 

I'm coming up on 22 weeks, so yeah, I'm almost done with my second trimester. Holy. Crap. I've heard the third is the hardest, but I'm really doing my best not to go into it with that little tidbit hanging over my head. I'm sure I'll get my waddle on like everyone else,

and I'm sure I'll be ready for Sully to get his dance moves on in the real world, but I'm really going to try to just enjoy it, because it's going by fast. 

I think that's all for now! Until next time...

Cheers!

It's a Boy!

So we found out Friday that we are having a little boy.

Sullivan Roy Mahaffey

I so love his name, and I love even more that I can call him by it now. Taylor and I have had that name picked out for years. And we agreed upon it within a millisecond. Pretty stoked that we're usually on the same page and don't have to argue about what our son's name is going to be. It must have been meant to be, because I swear, the name already fits this little man.

It's an old cliche, but time really does fly. I feel like we just found out about a baby at all, and now we know we're going to have Sully. I thought last week would take forever to get here, but the days flew by, and before I knew it, we were driving to the doctor that Friday morning, both with butterflies in our stomach, trying to guess what it was going to be.

I got hardly any sleep the night before. First, being unable to fall asleep and second, waking up at 5 AM too excited to stay in bed. I live almost an hour away from my doctor (that's what happens when you live out in the sticks), but it didn't feel like a long drive. Before I knew it, we were in the ultrasound room and there was Sully up on the screen. 

The tech told us first thing that it was a boy, and thank goodness. I don't think I could have sat there looking at that screen for an hour, waiting. Taylor said his heart stopped. I just started laughing, in typical fashion, and I don't think I stopped the rest of the day. 

We got to watch him for almost an hour, moving around, waving and kicking his arms and legs. He's already a little ham. He was even playing with his toes, which was just insane to see. Taylor hadn't seen him since the first ultrasound I had when Sully just looked like a little shrimp. This time, we could see the four chambers of his heart, his facial structure, five fingers on each hand, even his spine and bones. It was unbelievable, and those people who refuse to do ultrasounds are totally missing out. 

Plus, it's nice to have that peace of mind that everything is normal and okay. Sully's developing just fine. I get so worried sometimes, for no good reason, because I can't see him. Some people say that not knowing is part of the fun. I think that's crap. I want to know that he's a boy, and I want to know that I have nothing to worry about. 

Taylor finally felt Sully move. He's an active little bugger and is kicking me even as I type this. Taylor still says that he needs to feel a stronger kick to be convinced, but I'm pretty sure he's thinking too much into it. Either that or it's just such a surreal idea that he can't wrap his mind around it. As soon as I felt that little kick in my side against Taylor's hand, his eyes got huge. He felt it, no matter what he says.

And now the fun really begins! I've already started hauling out Sully's room, cleaning it out so we can get it ready for him. I think I've spent a total of 6-8 hours just cleaning, rearranging, and organizing all of our rooms to make plenty of space for our little guy. And I'm still not done! Or, more precisely, Taylor's not done. He's got some storage bins to move downstairs. 

I've already got his room planned out and have ideas about making his first blankie... 

    (A few things from my nursery treasury via Etsy... Great way to get ideas together!)

The yarn I've picked for his blankie.

I've been crocheting a lot, and I can't wait to make him a few warm and cozy things, especially because he'll be born in late fall. 

Umm, isn't that flat cap awesome? Totally making that....

And of course, the research is really hitting a high while we prepare for having a newborn, especially in winter. I've been wondering how it'll be with the cold, but from what I've read, it's good for babies to be out for fresh air as long as they're bundled up right and not out too, too long. I've heard of people not taking their babies outside all winter, which to me, doesn't sound like it could be too good for their little lungs or immune systems. Fresh. Air. Never. Hurt. Anyone.

The planning is fun. The research is interesting. I've registered at the hospital, which sounds like an amazing place. Apparently, visiting is like getting into Fort Knox, which makes me feel better about safety. Also, they offer a ton of options to make your stay as comfortable and relaxing as possible. Massage? Um, do you even have to ask? Private room and bathroom. Hot tub. Sleeper sofa for Taylor. Rooming-in. And a ton of other benefits that really have me looking forward to the process rather than fearing it. I definitely think I made the right choice :).

I feel like my thoughts are all over the place right now, which I guess they are. Jumping from planning, to making sure I do things right, to the whole hospital stay. Taylor thinks far ahead, as in how we're going to raise Sully, and while I think a lot about that too, I know we'll be just fine in that respect. As for me, I'm thinking more about the next four months of pregnancy, the baby's birthday, and how things will be in the first few months after Sully's born. One step at a time. The rest we'll figure out as it comes.

Cheers!