The Rollercoaster

I don't have to tell you that being pregnant is a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Everyone knows it and it's always the joke that a pregnant woman will usually break down and cry doing something as simple as watching a freaking toilet paper commercial. I wouldn't say it's been that extreme for me, but I've definitely experienced a lot of ups, downs, backs, forths, and in betweens.

What I find most surprising, though, is how I feel now compared to how I felt barely a couple of months ago. I was asked very recently by a young girl if I liked being pregnant. Now, I'd definitely say yes. Before, all I wanted was for someone to knock me out and wake me when it was over. Pregnancy is a very sudden, absolutely drastic change, and it can be tough to deal not only with that, but with the prospect that this isn't even the scariest part.

However, now I'm feeling different. I got over the initial shock and frustration that my body is no longer my own. I've not only accepted the fear of what I don't know, but I've shifted my focus from my anxiety to looking forward to learning. I think the transition started when I started to feel Sully doing Kung Fu moves in my belly. 

I've got one active kid on my hands here, and if he's this crazy now, I'm definitely in trouble. It's gotten to the point that not only can I feel him move, I can see it. Yup. I'm not the only one who's seen it, and I think it freaked the guy out a bit if the look on his face was any indication. Sully's getting stronger everyday, and I'm glad for it. 

I've discovered that he loves chocolate chip cookies. I swear, he does! He usually gets kicking after I eat, but with chocolate chip cookies, he goes berserk. I can only imagine him in there going...

You might be thinking that it's the sugar, which would make sense, but I've eaten other sweets (what? don't judge...) without such a significant reaction out of him. The only conclusion I can come to is that it's his favorite thing I've ever eaten. So when I reach for another and Taylor gives me a funny look, all I have to say is, "What? Sully likes them!"

So between feeling that movement and the fact that I can call him by his name, everything has moved from that surreal dream world to something more solid, which has got me realllllly excited!! There's always that little voice of worry in the back of my mind, but for the most part I give it dirty looks and ignore it. 

I get the question "How are you feeling?" quite often, and my honest answer would be: great. I do have those days when my hormones amplify everything I'm feeling, and that can be tough (not to mention annoying), but I've got a great guy supporting me who never fails to pull me out of that hole. I get tired pretty quickly and have to take it easy more often than I would like, but I'm trying to just take advantage of my free pass and put my feet up. 

I think that's been the hardest part. Not being able to do the things I used to. Stay up late with friends. Go for a run. Load up the canoe for a day on the lake. Go all day working around the house. But I know it's not about me anymore. It's what's best for Sully, and my body is much more in tune with his needs than my own right now, so I really try to listen. Seeing it that way, I'm finding that it's getting pretty difficult to be frustrated.

The tables are turning and rather than cursing the fact that men can't carry babies, I'm feeling blessed that this is my job. That's not to say Taylor isn't doing anything: he's been taking care of everything before the baby comes to the point where all I have to do is... well, practically nothing besides show up for my doc appointments, take care of myself, and have fun with it. It's his way. He expresses his excitement by doing. 

I'm coming up on 22 weeks, so yeah, I'm almost done with my second trimester. Holy. Crap. I've heard the third is the hardest, but I'm really doing my best not to go into it with that little tidbit hanging over my head. I'm sure I'll get my waddle on like everyone else,

and I'm sure I'll be ready for Sully to get his dance moves on in the real world, but I'm really going to try to just enjoy it, because it's going by fast. 

I think that's all for now! Until next time...

Cheers!