Becoming a Stay at Home Mom

Recently, we have made the choice that I will be staying home with Sully once he makes his debut. I went back and forth for a while, unsure if the decision was best or if we'd be put in a tight spot, but ultimately it boiled down to what was best for Sully. And if we're being honest, what was best for my sanity.

I just couldn't fathom sending my infant to daycare 40+ hours a week. I get anxious just thinking about it. For one, the idea of someone else taking care of my little guy just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It doesn't feel right, and I refuse to let that happen if I can help it. Second, I feel like there's not enough time as it is, and adding a baby on top of a full-time job and taking care of a home... How do you give all that the attention it deserves? I felt like things were about to get spread real thin.

Not only that, but the cost of daycare is ridiculous. I might bring home a little bit, but really? Most of my paychecks would be devoured...

I know a lot of women go back to work and careers and make the whole package happen. Kudos to you. No, seriously. I have a lot of respect for those women and have no judgements at all towards the amazing things they accomplish. The thing is, I used to care about starting a career, but in the past few months as I get closer to my due date, it's become less important than Sully. It's practically a non-issue. The idea of missing out on all those little first-times and moments that we'll never get back scares me way more than the thought that putting a career or job on hold will "screw me up" resume-wise in the long run. (Whatever that means...) Doesn't mean I think that's what other moms are doing by going back to work - this is just how I feel about my particular situation. Everyone has different circumstances, different strengths, and different desires for their life. As long as you can make a choice and be happy with it, I say that's all that matters.

I've read articles that say that women who stay at home feel isolated or like they've sacrificed their lives to raise children. Or these articles give you the guilt trip, that women have fought so hard to make an equal place for themselves in the world, and women who choose to stay home are throwing all that away. (Seriously, why are people so judgmental?) I don't believe any of that for a second.

I don't believe I'm sacrificing a thing. If anything, I'm being given a gift in having a choice and am blessed to be able to stay home to take care of my little one. A lot of people don't have that luxury, so I know how lucky I am to be faced with this decision.

I get a mix of understanding and funny looks when people discover that I'll be staying home. Like in this day and age, the idea of being a stay at home mom makes me... I dunno.. lazy or something. Sorry guys. I'm not superwoman, and I'm not going to pretend that I can or even want to juggle it all. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm an ambitious person. I don't sit around twiddling my thumbs - I'm always into something, doing something. I don't believe I'm throwing anything away. I'm being faced with the most important job of my life, but I also know that I will continue to be and do more.

I'll go back to work. Hell, maybe I'll start my own business (there's already one in the works). Maybe I'll finally finish my novel. Not that I'll have a ton of time on my hands to do these things, but my point is... Deciding to be a stay at home mom doesn't define me as such, especially when it comes to stereotypes. Just like a career doesn't define any other person. Staying home with my baby doesn't make me a less ambitious person - it just means I've made a choice - a choice that, lately, doesn't seem to reflect what's become the social norm.

Cheers :)